Life Turned Upside Down~

Now that all our paperwork is into China, we have time to think and wonder about what the next few months will bring Sophie.  Her world, as she knows it, will be turned upside down.  She will leave the country she was born in, the food she loves, the mild temperatures of where she lives with her foster family, all the smells of China, the millions of people, the foster family she has grown to love...  She will leave all that she has ever known, to begin life living in the desert, with 2 wild brothers, parents who are crazy in love with her, family and friends who can't wait to meet her, food she is not used to, smells she's never smelt before in her life.  We are anticipating her arrival, but she is NOT anticipating us.

To get to us, she must leave her foster parents with orphanage staff she does not remember from her short time living in the orphanage, travel about 90 miles back to the orphanage where she may stay the night- in a strange environment, not like what she is used to.  In the morning, she will travel about 4 hours in a van to the capital city of the Fujian province, where she will meet us....again, handed off to strangers....  Just to think of how scared she will be hurts my heart.  She will have no idea what is going on, at the young age of 19 months.

When we finally have Sophie in our arms forever, she will have gone through so much already in her short life.  Left by her birth mother- although an infant, research shows this is a traumatic experience and the baby does sense the loss.  She no longer smells her birth mom's scent, no longer hears the heart beat that she has come to know.  Once she was found, she was taken to the orphanage, where she stayed for a short time and then had her heart surgery- with no parents at the hospital to stay by her side and help her become healthy. After her surgery, she was placed in foster care, where she has been ever since- again, having to leave the only family she has ever known.  Sophie has probably been through more traumatic experiences already than many adults have had to face.  She will be vulnerable, scared.  She will grieve and will have to learn to trust. It is our responsibility, as her parents, to allow her to feel the emotions and to comfort her at all cost.  We have to realize she is at an emotional state of an infant when she becomes our daughter.  We have to love her, allow her to attach to us, and show her that we are her last stop. Her forever family. Amen.

With this being said, we are asking all of our family and friends to allow us to cocoon her.  This cocooning time could range from about 3 months to 6 months, depending on how long it takes for us to bond, attach, trust, love.  We have to parent her a bit differently than we did the boys.  It may seem as though we are spoiling her, but it is the advice of experts to be available to her at all times, at all cost.  So, we will be staying at home most of the 3 months- no grocery shopping trips, play dates, soccer games, church...we need to develop a strong relationship with her so that she can learn to trust and love.  This will not only help her now, but also in the future as she will be able to develop healthy relationships with others.

So, what can you do?  I would love if you would email or call me to see how we are doing ( as I am very social, this cocooning time may be very difficult for me ), drop off dinner, take the boys for an hour to play... I will post many pictures so you can see her progress.  I hope you can all understand that this just takes time. Once she shows us she is attached, we would love for you to LOVE on her!

Thank you all in advance for respecting our wishes, supporting us and not judging our new parenting skills as we bring her home.  We just want the best for her~